Don't ask me why but i feel so sad!!!

I never thought that it was gonna be so hard to be with a soldier. Even if I am proud of him everyday I realize how important I am gonna be in his life, in his career. But I am sad because I feel like I am loosing him in some way. Specially when he is stressed out because of his job and he put all his stress on me. I try to be the best support for him. I try to make him happy, and proud of me. But everyweek it's something wrong. I am tired inside. Tired to be in the second place. I thought that we will getting closer but sometimes he act like he want me to stop our relationship. I know that the only one person that I want to be with  It's him. I never love somebody like him never. I been true so much because of our relationship. I don't want to loose him. I want him in my life. I feel sometimes that he want to stop but because he don't want to hurt me he is acting bad with me. Everything he ask me to do I just do it without asking me any questions. Everything he need I just give it to him. I forget myself totally and put him in a first place in my life. I give my entire life to him. Did he realize how much it is hard for me to be in this situation? Did he realize that my life completely change because of him? I love him so much and I can die for him. He broke my heart when he have some bad words to tell me : Like he just have to trust, how he know and all of that. How can he just have this in his mind ? I feel that even if  I do everything for him, and take good care of him, support him in his career and be a good housewife, It will never be enought. I love him to death but I can not take everything on me and just take it. I am so sad really. And the only thing that I want it's be with him. But he have to understand where I am coming from. Everything that I have to do to be with him. I will never leave him. I knew that be with a soldier will be hard emotionaly. I want him to understand that he can not do that to me all the time and ask me to understand. Just because I am a person, I am a human and It is not right to just put all your stress on people and make them feel like nothing, make them feel like it's their fault. Please Lord give me my Love back. Give me the one who love me and put me first in his life.
Please Baby come back to me.
Pumpkin.