One more day done !!!!

Yesterday was an hard day for me. This deployment stuff get on my nerves. I try to change my mind and do some stuff that i have to do but i was still feeling so sad. I know that it is not good to be so sad because my king will feel bad. He told me yesterday that he was feeling how i was sad. He told me that he was feeling it in his heart. I am so sorry to make him feel that way. I just can take this deployment stuff anymore. I just want to be at the homecoming and hold him. It is hard when you can't share your feelings with somebody who is in the same situation. I would love to share this with an army wife, girlfriend, fiancee. Maybe i would feel better if i met a girl who is in the same situation as mine. He is the best. When he need me to be strong he just support me and help me to feel better. I feel sad because it is not about missing him, it is hard because i worry about him. I want to make sure that he have everything and he is ok. It is so hard for me. I pray god to feel better, to be a better support for him, to be the strong woman that he know. but i also want him to know that i give my all life to him. I need him to be here for me to. Ok where he at i should just support him. But i am new into this army life and don't really know what to think or expect.
I need him to understand that i also need some words. He doing good for the last few days because i told him that i need to read something from him to, something to make me smile, to make me keep my tears, to make me feel strong. He can't be just me. I do my best for him to be happy and proud of me. I know that we will make it, i know that the last few days i was feeling sad but i know that today i feel a way better. As my king call that " deployment blues " i had a bad and serious one. Now i just have to be strong and never feel that way anymore. Stop crying because my baby overthere in this crazy stuff not me. So yes i have to stop being so sellfish and make him be responsable of my sadness. He is not responsable. I accept this life. At the beginning the first thing that he talk to me was the army lifestyle and i say yes. So now i have to take my responsabilty and be strong. My dad would be mad at me if he was here to see me like that and say : Champion !!!! What the hell is wrong with you? Stand up for my son. He need you to be strong. I didnt rase you like that. You are strong champion you will make it." Yes daddy i agree. I am a strong woman, im a beautyfull woman, i have a beautyfull fiancee who is fighting for his country, i am proud of him. We will make it to the top, he will be home soon. Patience is a virtue.
I am back to the field. I am a champion. I will be strong for my king. I want him to be proud of me.
King : I love you with all my heart, you are my life, my air, my blood, my world. I refuse to live without you. Help me to be a better support for you, support me also cause it is not easy for me to. I will never ever leave you.
Love you
Pumpkin